The Top 10 Fears and Stages of Change

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The Top 10 Fears and Stages of Change

2007-02-22

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"Change has a bad reputation in our society. But it isn't all bad - not by any means. In fact, change is necessary in life - to keep us moving...to keep us growing...to keep us interested...to keep us
growing. Imagine life without change. It would be static...boring...and dull. When people feel stuck and frustrated, it is often their fear of change that is causing the problem. When that fear is too strong - as it is in the workplace today - people are afraid to change. That is because they are under great stress and feel out of control. There are five major fears of change, ranked below according to impact and five major stages of change ranked according to difficulty." -- Dr. Dennis O'Grady

1. Fear of the Unknown
Why do men fear committing to a romantic relationship? Why does taking a new job seem scary? We are most at ease when we are completely familiar with our surroundings and sure of what the future holds for us. As a result, fear of the unknown can paralyze us.

2. Fear of Failure
Typical questions you might ask yourself are: "What if, after I try it, it doesn't work out and I look foolish? Won't I be a laughingstock? People expect to get everything right the first time, instead of taking their time to work things out and getting them right at some time.

3. Fear of Commitment
This fear is why people don't set firm goals or accomplish what they set
out to do. They are afraid to focus on what they want out of life. The excuse they use is that they will be trapped. Instead, people should be honest with themselves and commit to a few simple and heartfelt goals -
what they really dream of doing.

4. Fear if Disapproval
Some might call this the fear of rejection. Typical question: "What if I commit myself to my goals and people disapprove?" Often when people make positive changes, their friends, family and business associates say "I liked you better the way you were." I call these changeback pressures.
If you change, somebody will likely disapprove. Usually several people in your social network feel this way. You will learn very quickly who your false friends are and who is truly on the side of your self-esteem.

5. Fear of Success
Typical questions: "If you're successful, are people going to dislike you? Think you're stuck up?" We are all incredibly afraid of appearing selfish and egotistical to others. When people get through the changes and they are feeling good, they sometimes feel guilty for feeling good. People often trace this guilt back to being taught that they are selfish and egotistical for taking care of themselves.
Stages of Change

The Stage of Crisis
You feel you've got to change or else. You're backed into a corner. It may be a business crisis...or a personal crisis. This sense of crisis - usually very emotional - is a wake-up call, telling you that you are confronting a need for change.

The Stage of Hard Work
This is the stage that most people enjoy. Often this involves hard mental work. You may take classes, read books, network with business contacts, etc. There is a sense of control in this stage - you're working hard trying to figure out the solution to the crisis.

The Stage of Tough Decision
Then you reach the stage where you must make a difficult decision. This
stage isn't easy, but it's a relief. You feel glad that you're making a
commitment. Because you're choosing a direction, there is a sense that just making the commitment will free you. So there is usually a feeling of optimism at this point.

The Stage of Unexpected Pain
At this stage you are doing the right things but getting the wrong results. You are tempted to give up on your goal - and unfortunately a lot of people do - because you're feeling awful about your failings.
During this stage, people frequently don't realize that they've made positive changes, so they stop growing. Thousands of times, people quit when success is right around the corner. It may take every creative bone in your body to drag yourself forward. But it's a shame that after all the hard work in the first three stages, the unexpected setback cause us to quit. We give up and don't finish the change. Then the resentment sets in. But when we don't change, we are left with depression, rejection and, most noticeably, anger. Usually if you just crawl forward a few more steps from where you've been knocked down, you will be able to reach the next stage.

The Stage of Joy and Integration
In this stage, the changes are truly a part of your life. You realize you are happy about the changes you have made, and they begin to pay off in a big way. You are enjoying your new job or your business takes a turn for the better, for example.

About The Author:
About the Submitter
This piece was originally submitted by Charles Powell, BS, CTM, CN, CTP
Grad., Professional Business Coach, who can be reached at
FriendCoach@Coach-Charles.com, or visited on the web. Charles Powell wants
you to know: He assists professionals, such as Doctors, Lawyers, Coaches,
and others to achieve phenomenal success in their lives and work. The
original source is: Dr. Dennis O'Grady, *The Change Game*, Bottom
Line-Personal, 7-15-94, pp.9,10.

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