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| The Healing Power of Forgiveness |
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In essence, forgiveness is the ability to let go of resentment and move on with our lives. As such, forgiveness represents one of the key cornerstones of our spiritual growth in recovery. Indeed, we cannot fully approach the important step of making amends (Step 9) until we are ready to forgive others whom we believe may have wronged us, and to forgive ourselves for our own misguided actions and omissions. Developing and nurturing the quality of forgiveness is also a prime ingredient in attuning ourselves to the loving and healing energies of the universe and creating total health and harmony in our lives.
The act of forgiveness is truly a cleansing process that resonates throughout our entire being. Through forgiveness, we are able to release our resentment toward others and thereby lighten our load. Following the path of forgiveness also enables us to release ourselves from the burden of excessive guilt stemming from our own misdeeds that have either intentionally or unintentionally inflicted harm on those around us.
To gain a full appreciation of the powerful healing influence that forgiveness can wield in relation to our physical health, we must first reflect on the damage that we inflict on our bodies through stubbornly clinging to our unresolved resentments. When we are constantly churning in a stew of resentment, our bodies release excessive amounts of "high-voltage" chemicals, like adrenaline, noradrenaline and adrenocorticotrophic hormone, into our bloodstream. Over time, the toxic build-up of these chemicals takes its toll - making us prime candidates for a variety of physical ailments, including chronic tension headaches, high blood pressure, gastric ulcers and irritable bowel syndrome, to name a few. Chronic anger and resentment also depresses our immune system, and can dramatically increase our risk of developing heart disease. The flip side of this analogy is that we can reverse this cycle through consciously practicing forgiveness, and in turn calming down our physiological responses and channeling life-giving energies throughout our vital bodily systems. Our bodies very accurately mirror what is going on in our lives. When we are clinging onto excessive resentment, we are blocking the essential life forces. Conversely, when we release our burden of resentment through forgiveness, we free up powerful healing energies to do their work wherever they are most needed.
A recent incident in my life very powerfully drove home to me the healing power of forgiveness. This occurred one morning as I was pulling away from a convenience store on my way to work. As I inched my way out of the parking lot, my car collided with an older gentleman on a bicycle. It all happened so fast, I couldn't tell whether I had hit him or if he had run into my car. I immediately jumped out of my car, helped him up off the street and began to profusely apologize. At that point, the gentleman firmly squeezed my hand and said "Don't worry, I'm OK. This happens to me all of the time and I probably shouldn't be riding my bike on the streets anymore." I was awestruck with the dignity and grace that this gentleman demonstrated through his complete and total gesture of forgiveness - no ifs, ands or buts. His compassionate act of forgiveness has, indeed, motivated me to make a conscious effort to drive more carefully, and to be especially mindful of the plight of the many pedestrians who share the streets with me.
A common misconception in regard to forgiveness is that we need to force ourselves to like the person whom we are forgiving, or to condone a behavior that may have harmed us in some way. Happily this is not the case. Simply put, the sole purpose of forgiveness is to release our burden of resentment, so that we can move on with our lives. Whether we choose to like the person or to condone any particular set of behavior is essentially irrelevant to the act of forgiveness. From my own experience, I find it much easier to get into the mode of forgiveness when I am able to dialog with the person whom I have been having difficulty with, in the interest of clearing the air. I am currently going through this process with one of my stepdaughters who is approaching her ninth month of sobriety, and bit by bit we are beginning to break down the barriers that have built up between us over the years.
Returning to the beneficial effects of forgiveness in term of promoting optimal health and physical healing, if you are currently dealing with a challenging health problem, I would encourage you to reflect on whether you may have some forgiveness work ahead of you in regard to a particular person, incident or set of circumstances. Not uncommonly, when we are coping with a serious illness we become resentful toward the illness itself. When this occurs, it can be extremely cleansing to release this resentment and turn it over to our higher power. It is also wise to forgive ourselves for any unhealthy past behaviors that we believe may have contributed to the illness. By focusing our capacities for forgiveness in this manner, we set the stage for freeing up our psychic potential to fully channel life-giving healing energies throughout our entire system.
In short, to the extent that we are able to walk the pathway of forgiveness, we will be making powerful strides toward enriching the quality of our relationships with those around us, and in attracting total health and harmony into our lives. Until next month, to your health!
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About The Author:
John Newport, Ph.D., is author of The Wellness-Recovery Connection: Charting Your Pathway to Optimal Health While Recovering from Alcoholism and Drug Addiction. He is a free-lance writer and wellness counselor based in Port Townsend, Washington, and is available to provide program consultation and presentations for treatment centers and addictions conferences. He is also available (either in person or by telephone) for low-cost personal counseling on all issues relating to wellness and recovery. To contact "Dr. John", visit his website at http://www.wellnessandrecovery.com or call (360) 385-0229.
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