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| Self-Fulfilling Prophecies |
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Have you ever considered yourself to be a prophet? Someone capable of predicting the future?
Whether for good or bad, I believe to a large extent we each determine and predict the quality and outcome of our relationships with others.
The more I'm able to pay attention, the more I realize the perceptions and beliefs I hold about my counterparts have a major impact on how they perceive themselves, the quality of our relationship, and what we do and don't achieve together.
In regard to my professional life, years ago, I perceived of myself as working mainly with "physically and emotionally challenged" clients, who very much needed my help and expertise. At the end of a full day's work I often felt drained.
When I expressed sympathy for a client who I understood to be "clinically depressed," their depression seemed to deepen. If I agreed with a client's negative prognosis regarding their rehabilitation from an injury, they rarely fully regained their mobility. In short, my diagnosis of my clients created self-fulfilling prophecies that were difficult for myself and my clients to overcome.
As time went on, I found I could enjoy my work much more and get much better results when I diagnosed my clients as being "resourceful" and "likely to achieve better than average results." One client might be a resourceful businessman struggling in his marriage. Another client might come in suffering from the effects of a stroke, but with a great desire to fully recover.
I began to understand that no matter how big my clients' problems might appear to be, their capacity to adapt and heal was usually a good deal bigger.
When I remove the diagnostic labels that limit what a client seems capable of achieving, their ability to recover and heal invariably proves limitless. I've discovered the more I support my clients efforts to achieve their full potential, the less need or benefit I accrue from diagnosing them.
I transformed my practice by realizing my clients have all the resources they need to recover from their trauma!
Another shift in my thinking that's had a major impact on my ability to serve is moving away from experiencing the world as good OR bad, black OR white. Over time, I've come to understand that most every "bad" has a place where it is "good" and most every behavior can be helpful to some degree, in the proper context.
For instance, I myself can be obsessive and compulsive at times. Nonetheless, I do not find it helpful to label myself as having "Obsessive Compulsive Disorder." Why? Because such a label gives no indication of how a modicum of obsession and compulsion helps me consistently produce high quality products and services.
As long as we don't take any one behavior to an extreme, then every behavior can be valued in the appropriate context.
Explore the world looking for disease, and you'll likely miss out on most of what's healthy. Diagnose your various counterparts and you'll discover what's wrong with them, at the expense of failing to notice what's right. Look to uncover what's lacking in others and tell me you don't also look to uncover what's lacking in yourself.
Nowadays I am excited by the many wonderful clients I have the privilege to work with. I learn a great deal from each and every one. I now engage with clients from a model of "wellness" and not from a model of "disease". I find positive change is much more likely to occur when I'm expecting something good to happen!
Is it not the same for you?
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About The Author:
Charlie Badenhop is the originator of the human potential discipline of Seishindo. He is a native New Yorker and has been living in Japan since 1985. He is a fourth degree black belt and licensed instructor of Aikido in Japan, a certified trainer in NLP, and a long term practitioner of Self-relations therapy, Ericksonian Hypnosis, and the Japanese healing art of sei tai and seiki jutsu.
Charlie looks back on more than thirty years of experience in a "dual career" as businessman and healer. He has coached and consulted for organizations large and small, as well as starting and running various trading businesses.
He has also studied with numerous exceptional healers around the world, and actively helps individuals heal their spirit, and regain emotional and physical well-being.
Charlie's teaching style is improvisational and tailored to the needs and desires of the individual, audience, or organization. His teaching is known for its magic, depth of experience, and celebration of life. He weaves together theory, poetry, music, practical applications, and a clear sense of reconnecting to one's core identity. When you engage with Charlie, you are invited to enter into an austere theater of everyday life.
Learn more about Charlie at:
http://www.seishindo.org/index.html |
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