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| Shame & Guilt |
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Two distinct ways of feeling "bad" afflict every human being. How
those afflictions work -- and how they can be healed -- find clearest
expression in the lives of alcoholics and addicts. Neither experience
is unique to the alcoholic, but each has a special place in the
process of recovery from alcoholism. In this area perhaps more than
in any other, alcoholism and its healing contribute to our knowledge
of the human condition. They do this first by revealing the
importance of distinguishing between these two often-confused
phenomena. Most hurting people could profit from learning this
distinction, but for alcoholics and addicts, learning and living it
become a matter of life and death. The distinction is between guilt and shame.
Shame differs from guilt. Because they differ, any effective healing
of their diverse ways of "feeling bad" must differ. Some modes of
healing, for some conditions, can afford to ignore the distinction
between guilt and shame. But such is not the case with the alcoholic
or with many other sufferers. Most hurting persons, and certainly the
alcoholic, suffer both guilt and shame. And for the alcoholic,
distinguishing between guilt and shame and confronting each
constructively is necessary not only to attain sobriety but --
perhaps more importantly -- to maintain ongoing recovery, to attain a
life that is genuinely "happy, joyous, and free."
Confronting guilt, though painful, is not difficult. The beginner in
Alcoholics Anonymous finds guilt allayed, indeed, by the very
concepts of powerlessness and unmanageability that invite him to
confront also his shame. The recovering alcoholic finds further help
in dealing with guilt in the inventory and amendment Steps (Four,
Five, Eight, and Nine) of the A.A. program, which guide directly to
guilt's resolution.
The confrontation with shame, although also set in motion by A.A.'s
First Step, proves more tricky -- and, for most, more difficult.
Again, the A.A. program -- all of it, but especially Steps Two, Six,
Seven, and Ten -- suggests shame's solution. It is Alcoholics
Anonymous as fellowship that makes real this solution, but it is only
in the conjunction with the Twelve Steps as program that the full
benefits of A.A as fellowship can be real-ized -- made real.
The impressive success of Alcoholics Anonymous in dealing with
alcoholism and addiction flows directly from A.A.'s effectiveness at
healing shame.
Other therapies fail, especially over time, because un-faced shame
proves much more dangerous to the alcoholic, especially in recovery,
than does unresolved guilt. An appreciation of Alcoholics Anonymous
as specifically a modality for the healing of shame thus can offer
much . . . and not only to the alcoholic.
MORE
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